She③⑨;s beautiful, artistic, loved and can③⑨;t stand to be alive. ③② PILLS traces the fascinating life and mental illness of my sister, New York artist and photographer Ruth Litoff, and my struggle to come to terms with her tragic suicide.She③⑨;s beautiful, artistic, loved and can③⑨;t stand to be alive. ③② PILLS traces the fascinating life and mental illness of my sister, New York artist and photographer Ruth Litoff, and my struggle to come to terms with her tragic suicide.